My Claire & The City blog and business is all about honesty and going behind the smoke and mirrors of the PR & Marketing industryโฆ
But today I find myself in unfamiliar territory and am looking to a relationship guru to share his secrets instead.
Who is Relationship Coach Matthew Hussey?
Let me introduce you to Matthew Hussey, heโs a relationship expert/love doctor type (he hates labels but hey ho) who I first discovered through friends who were looking to decode the modern relationship.
Naturally, I was totally cynical, spending an inordinate amount of time watching his YouTube videos on โWhat To Text Himโ and such the like and telling everyone that I thought it was all a bit ridiculous.
Until that is I began to admire him – there I said it. For one, the man KNOWS his marketing – or rather his team do. Giving us that perfect mix of slick videos with down-to-earth moments and โreal lifeโ examples.
He knows how to tease me. Goddammit Matthew, I went from casual YouTube-ing to getting the โGet The Guy Book (AFF Link)โ from the Maida Vale Library to subscribing to your fancy members area (HELP HELP!), โheโ emails me every single day – thatโs more often than my clients do!
But jokes aside, I knew he was really onto something when my mum (who was visiting me before Christmas and has been happily married for 30 years I might add), picked up the Get The Guy book and started reading it, proclaiming โit has some really interesting points.โ
And it does, and what Iโve realised is that these are really life skills, they are skills that have been forgotten amongst the digital malarky and I think theyโre so important that I am telling anyone who will listen about them.
So here are the SEVENย things Matthew Hussey can teach us about LIFE and more importantly for the PR industry, about networking:
1 – IN REAL LIFE
Digital (of course) has itโs place – in dating and in business. BUT Hussey will be the first to tell you that we need to work on our social skills in the everyday.
Wow – so true isnโt it? So that means, talking to people. Actually speaking to them, and more of them, and being friendly, men, women of all ages, just try it.
Not all your conversations will lead anywhere but they will get you used to talking to people and therefore make you better at it. And when you meet that man/woman of your dreams or that influential business person, youโre less likely to look like a rabbit in headlights.
Try and chat to a couple of strangers today and see how hard it has become, if you do it everyday it gets easier.
2 – BE THE BUTTERFLY
Iโm always jealous of those people who come in, light up a room, smile and chat and move effortlessly between groups, before sliding out of the door while youโre still hanging in the corner clutching a glass of champagne and trapped (usually) with some dude trying to sell you an affiliate scheme.
In any situation, we can get so much more out of life by enlarging our social circle and getting to know more people. So the next time youโre stuck in one of those conferences with a name badge, challenge yourself to move around more.
3 – BUILD RAPPORT
Argh but like HOWWWWW???
For a long time I didnโt realise my job was to be friendly with people. As a PR Assistant ten years ago, I was usually in the background and working away but these days as a Consultant, most business is face to face.
Building rapport isnโt easy and some people are better than others which is why we should practice.
Maybe you already do this, maybe itโs complementing someone when you meet them (oh your shoes are ah-mazing etc)โฆwhatever it is make sure you have a few failsafe things to say and youโll soon relax and be yourself.
4 – CREATE A ROUTINE FOR SUCCES
Hussey loves a good quote, and he especially likes The Great Gatsby (one of my all time faves) and in the video below he talks about how Gatsby created a timetable for himself to prepare for success.
Organisation and strategy is the key to success, in business and in love.
That can mean anything from making it a weekly task to visit a new venue, checking out a new event from likeminded people or even using social media to do your homework on new connections and network for half an hour each day.
The key, sharpen up.
5 – IMAGE
Now then, I often talk about image in business and Husseyโs assertion with dating is that you should always be ready; โif youโre always ready, you donโt need to get ready.โ
What he means is that, ideally youโd always be happy to run into your ex because youโre taking care of yourself. Same applies here. You might run into a new client or influencer on a Sunday afternoon, and you donโt want to be put off from chatting to them because you havenโt washed your hair.
Thatโs not to say you have to go OTT every time you leave the house, (note you do not need to channel VB in skyscraper heels at all times – well not unless you Uber everywhere) just that you want to be happy with your appearance.
6 – HOLD AN EVENTย
In dating Hussey looks at enhancing your social circle by going to new places and holding regular get togethers with friends old and new.
In business, instead of ploughing money into Facebook advertising, how about an event where you can keep talking to regular contacts and getting to know new ones in an informal setting.
Think you canโt do that? You totally can, just start with a small number of people and go from there. No one is expecting you to be throwing a BRIT Awards style party straight awayโฆgive it a year at least ๐
7 – KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY
We all know that person in work, or in dating that is a total f*ยฃk-wit time waster and will just keep leading you on and on with the hope it will go somewhere.
When you get the feeling that youโre wasting your time, be confident that there are other people out there who will appreciate you. As Hussey says, be โhigh valueโ so take note and be nice, firm and leave them to it.
So there you go seven things from Matthew Husseyโs โGET THE GUYโ world that can translate to real life; in your love life and your work life.
You can buy Get the Guy on Amazon here (AFF link) or Love Life Book here (AFF link).
Be warned, heโs addictive. Right, I’m off to book on a ยฃ5k Matthew Hussey Retreat in LA…just joking – pull me back from the edge someone!!! ๐
Matthew tells us how he began his career in self development as a child by s tudying self-help books on a continuous basis. He tells us how he figured out that the โsecret sauceโ of successful people was simply the way they acted around people.